New York City, Thursday

[suitably_heroic]

Sometimes mornings were nice. Time spent in the music room, after people had woken up, but before he needed to be anywhere. Jack let his fingers move over the keys, his ear fied on the sound of Dane's chords flowing from the phone recording - Em, G, Cmaj7, D... "Why do we always crave absolution? Why can't we put these ghosts to rest? Why won't we tell the dead to leave us alone? Why let the ghosts follow us home, to let our blood and leave us to roam? The dead should leave us alone--"

"I like the triplets and the duplets," Dane commented quietly from the doorway. "Very cute."

Jack let out a sigh as he looked up and away from the piano. "Well, we aren't all fancy assholes with pretty pieces of paper that say we're qualified to make music good."

"It is a nice thing to have." Dane lifted his cup of coffee with a small smile. "I like it, though. It's getting better."

There was still a quiet exhaustion in his face, and Jack knew it wasn't physical - Dane had slept just fine last night. He put the sheets with the notes down and rose from his seat. "Thanks," he said. "How are you holding up?"

One of Dane's shoulders slid up in a helpless shrug. "I'm okay--" he started. "Okay, no, that's bullshit. I'm sorry. I'm, I don't know. Stuck in some bad memories. I guess. It'll be fine."

Jack took a moment to roll his wrist, fiddling with the straps of his glove. Then he took a few steps, getting in closer, seeing the truth of that reflected in Dane's eyes. "Look, I know you're probably not eager to hear my Jedi zen therapy bullshit," he said. "But try and find a moment to sit with it for a while today, okay? Grab a break or something. Listen to the dulcet tones of cabs racing past, I don't know."

"Aye aye, Zen master," Dane said, a wry smile tugging on his mouth.

"And if you want, I can call the band, cancel our performance at the protest this weekend," Jack added casually. "Give you some time."

"And deprive you of a chance to yell 'fuck the system' in public?" Dane sipped his coffee. "I'm not that much of a monster."

Jack shook his head. He brushed a kiss against Dane's cheek before he passed him by. "Just think about it," he said.

"You tell Lana I said hi," Dane called over his shoulder.

"She agrees with me about the zen shit!" Jack called back.

He grabbed a thermos of coffee on his way out, shoving half a sandwich in his mouth. Lana was probably not going to be outside at 10 AM on the dot, right? He would be that lucky?

[[ for her ]]

Comments

[unusual_sith]

"Honestly, neither do I," Lana said. "What are some of the less common foods?"

[suitably_heroic]

"Space," Jack groaned, racking his brain for whatever the last three weird ethnic restaurants he'd seen were. "Uh, Ethiopian isn't uncommon in New York, but it's uncommon in a lot of other places around the country? There's Georgian food around here, too. The country, not the state. There's a Kazakh place down in the Financial District..."

[unusual_sith]

"I don't think I've had any of those," Lana said. "So whichever we come to first, I suppose. Or last, if you're in the mood for a longer walk."

[suitably_heroic]

"I could walk all day," Jack admitted. "I like how this city feels in the Force, you know?"

[unusual_sith]

"It's full of life, but...hm. Lived-in I suppose?" Lana said. "Worn, but not worn down."

[suitably_heroic]

"Not like Nar Shaddaa, though there was a comfort to that too," Jack said, and glanced back out over the water. "But there's no sickness around the edges here. It's just life."

[unusual_sith]

Lana nodded. "It's comfortable."

[suitably_heroic]

"Cade kept calling it a 'mid-sized city on a backward mudball'," Jack muttered.

[unusual_sith]

Lana rolled her eyes. "Was he serious or just trying to get a rise out of you?"

[suitably_heroic]

"Both?" Jack said. He shook his head. "He thinks I'm running away," he said. "And before you say it, no, I know I'm not. I think he's having some issues he's refusing to come to terms with. Insulting me because I got out of the throwing-myself-at-danger game is easier."

Just. Maybe. Kind of been perkolating in his head in that 'I need to talk to someone from home who gets it' kind of way.

[unusual_sith]

"I won't pretend to understand Cade's issues," Lana said, "but if he has Jedi training, I'm not surprised." She grimaced. "I can admit that some of what they do is good, but they are terrible at handling feelings, and that doesn't seem to have changed over the centuries."

She eyed him. "Do you think he's jealous you got out and wants to himself?"

[suitably_heroic]

"I don't know what's going on in his thick head, not exactly." Jack stuck his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I do know he's not even allowing himself to think about anything other than what he's been doing."

[unusual_sith]

"Do you intend to try helping him, or does this not warrant it?" Lana asked.

Look, she had no idea. For some people, this would be when you'd hit them over the head with something. Some you just had to leave alone until they figured it out themselves.

[suitably_heroic]

Jack shrugged. "I tried not saying anything," he said, "Then I tried saying something. Neither worked. So I guess he's just going to go back to doing incredibly stupid things well past the age where that's any kind of cute, and maybe he'll remember to call me next time he gets into real trouble."

He just felt this really weird desire to help Cade and it was deeply troubling. Or confusing. Or both of those.

[unusual_sith]

"That's so frustrating," Lana said. "I don't suppose being kidnapped by a Sith would help."

[suitably_heroic]

"He'd probably just try to kill you, and I don't want to deal with either of your funerals," Jack said, pulling a face.

He ran his fingers up through his hair. Uggh. Why did it bother him? It was just Cade. Was this moral clarity or something? He hated it.

[unusual_sith]

"I expected as much, but I thought I would offer." Lana shrugged. "It's about the only thing I can think of to offer. If living in Fandom didn't get him out of that, I don't know what will."

[suitably_heroic]

"See, this is the part that keeps screwing with my head," Jack said, gesticulating. "When I knew him, we were both disasters! Absolute trauma-fueled morons! But I'm 41 now and I've fallen down enough rock bottoms to get at least 15 percent of my poodoo together! How is he still this way?!"

[unusual_sith]

"Is he the same age?" Lana asked.

Look, it was Fandom. It could have been two days for him.

[suitably_heroic]

"Couple years younger, Fandom-wise, but not that much younger," Jack said. "As much as he likes to pretend."

[unusual_sith]

"I can only guess he hasn't hit enough rock bottoms yet," Lana said. "Or maybe he never will. Listen, if every messed up person managed to get their shit together, there never would have been a Sith Empire. Or most governments, probably," she added wryly.

[suitably_heroic]

"Oh, don't suggest to Cade he and the Sith have anything in common," Jack said.

The water was nice. He probably needed to redirect them, back into the city, but he was taking a moment to just breathe in the East River.

(Okay, it was New York, so there was always a faint scent of garbage on the air. But it wasn't like he knew how to deal with squeaky clean anyway.)

[unusual_sith]

"Not even 'being fallible'?" Lana asked, amused. "His loss. Though he didn't strike me as that intractable. At least he speaks to me. I swear I have no idea what's wrong with Anakin."

Apart from nearly everything.

[suitably_heroic]

"Everything?" Jack suggested. "I gave up on him when I tried to get advice about how to tell the band about home and he told me lying was an option and that it wouldn't matter if I scared them off."

[unusual_sith]

Lana grimaced. "He's bad at people even for a Jedi, isn't he? The thing is, he was lovely in writing, when I asked advice before I came back here. Then when I did, I was back to being an evil Sith out to corrupt everybody, apparently."