The obvious answer here was 'Doctor Lecter.'

Sparkle was going to just shrug his shoulders and swan into the kitchen to pre-heat the oven anyway.

"It's all useful stuff to know anyway," he pointed out. "Like, I'm going to have to support myself somehow after high school. The more I know how to do, the better. Anyway, this tastes better. And it'll probably hurt less when you inevitably throw it at my head."