Steps of the Jedi Temple, Saturday

[suitably_heroic]

Finally, finally, the last of Gaunt's influence had ebbed out of Atton's system. No more thunder, no more death, nothing but the sky and the sense of billions of lives milling around him. It was nice, a relief, a giant weight off his back: almost as nice as Dxun had been, after he'd led that successful mission into the jungle.

He kind of wanted to chase that line of thought, nail it down. After Dxun, for this short window of time, he'd felt... okay. Like maybe after years of being this poisoned thing, and years of trying to get lost, he was actually capable of being useful. Helping someone good. That his decision to embrace the Force hadn't been the wrong one, and having this awareness in his mind was a boon, not another way to make him vulnerable.

He really wished he could feel exactly that way again. As far as he could tell, though, this feeling - relief - was as close as he was going to get.

He stretched his legs out across the steps. There was a reason the Jedi Temple had been established in the middle of Coruscant, he realized that much now. How much more plugged-in to life could you get, short of Nar Shaddaa? Sitting here, outside on the steps, the sun on his face and all of Coruscant thrumming through his bones, it was like plugging yourself into a live wire. A good one. A living one.

He hadn't bothered texting Sparkle or reminding him of their training sessions or anything. He figured the kid wasn't up for it, anyway. And if Sparks chose to show anyway, then he chose to show, and they'd figure it out from there.

As it stood, he was content sitting on the steps in the sun, a single figure surrounded by marble, and beyond that, the life of Coruscant.

[[ open for calls/visits/what have you, yes. ]]

Comments

[suitably_heroic]

Okay. Good.

Atton let out a sigh. Had he mentioned he was happy this wasn't a phone call? Because he was.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm no great big star at pep talks. Finding HOME is a poodoo-shoot at best. The next time anyone starts talking it up, you should tell them where to stick it. Hard enough hammering out something good in this galaxy without getting myths thrown at you.

[myownface]

Well, that would make two of them, at least. Sparkle was doing a shitty job of faking it over texts as it was. He was pretty sure he'd suck twice as hard if they were actually speaking.

Yeah, I know. It's just a crappy myth they've been shoving down my throat since I was still too small to know better. I know it's bullshit. It's coming to terms with that fact that I'm working on now.

[suitably_heroic]

If they were actually speaking, Atton might be forced to do something drastic, like give him a hug or something. And that would totally wreck this cool, unaffected thing he was gunning for, here.

If it helps, that doesn't mean you can't make your own space. It's just as soon as you start relying on other people to make it livable, you're shooting yourself in the foot. But you know that.

The sad thing was, he couldn't exactly advertise the patented Atton Rand Get Out And Stop Caring About People method, either, because he knew by experience that one tended to fall down as soon as you stopped moving.

[myownface]

Oh god, yeah, that was fortunate. If Sparkle got a hug, he might do something fucking stupid like get choked up, and cool and unaffected seemed to be working out great for them right about now.

Yeah, I know that. Probably have to get it tattooed somewhere so I don't forget, considering my track record.

[suitably_heroic]

That being said, as long as I'm not dead, I'm going to try and have your back.

Granted, that wasn't much of a promise, considering the life expectancy of Jedi in his day and age.

Which is basically what people like Karina and whoever else you know are also going to mean when they promise you anything, so you have that.

[myownface]

"Fuuuuuck."

Don't mind Sparkle. He had, like, sand or a bug or something in his eye, apparently. Ugh, camping.

Yeah, I have that.

...

Thanks, man.

[suitably_heroic]

Yeah, yeah, don't get sentimental on me.

He'd have said 'sappy', usually. The whole conversation wasn't doing much good at keeping him in the scoundrel vocabulary.

[myownface]

Eh. It wasn't like Sparkle didn't know better by this point anyway.

Too late. Already feeling all warm and squishy inside. Probably doomed to sentimentality forever, now.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton rolled his eyes.

And, y'know, he was feeling pretty good today. Mellow. Maybe even better than that.

Love you too, you complete brat. I'm going to kick your ass SO MUCH next weekend.

More than mellow plus Sparks' recent situation meant he could just about send that message without twitching and setting fire to a nearby speeder or something.

Though he wouldn't say no if Mical had a mission that involved him setting fire to a nearby speeder or something.

[myownface]

I'm looking forward to it. I probably have it coming to me anyway. I'll be sure to whine EXTRA to show just how effective that asskicking was when we're through.

Yeah, Sparkle was smiling again. He'd needed this. Goddamn, did he ever need this.

[suitably_heroic]

Oh, now you're just making it weird, Atton decided. The great outdoors are messing with your head, probably.

Or Sparkle was just a troll.

[myownface]

It's probably that, yeah. All this fresh air is screwing with me.

Or, yeah, Sparkle was a troll.

[suitably_heroic]

You know there's bears out there, right?

Man, they were finally past the non-shit-talking part. That was fantastic.

[myownface]

...

LIES.

Sparkle just googled it. It was entirely possible that for a half-a-second, he was legitimately concerned that he might run into a bear. He wasn't going to admit that to anybody. Ever.

The only bears in Indiana have, like, beards and ride motorcycles and wear a terrifying amount of leather.

[suitably_heroic]

...I thought bears were all fur anyway?

There was a lot of Earth terminology he'd managed to brush up on since coming back. Funnily enough, that one hadn't come up.

[myownface]

Oh, Atton. Sparkle was cackling again. Thank you for that.

Bear - Gay or bi dude that, like, embraces masculinity more than most STRAIGHT guys I know. Burly with beer guts and beards to their nipples and hair all over, that kind of thing.

The more you knew!

[suitably_heroic]

So basically worse than actual bears. Stay safe, Sparks.

Look, even if Atton wasn't, like, 95-to-5 in the gynephilia vs everything else-philia department, that would not have gotten anything more than 'ew.'

[myownface]

It's okay, man. I'm way more a twink than a cub anyway.

What? If Atton couldn't figure it out from context, Sparkle was just going to reserve the right to cackle some more.

[suitably_heroic]

What, covered in glitter, obsessed with make-up, and way too scrawny for your own good?

[myownface]

All of these things are pretty twinky, it's true.

Sparkle took it as a point of pride, really. Or at least he would while he could. Once he was back in Toronto around group home teens, he'd probably clam right up about it all over again.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton let out a little snort. (He kinda liked the make-up. It worked for Sparkle's whole aesthetic.)

Hey, look, I learned something today.

[myownface]

That's me, man. I'm EDUCATIONAL.

He actually sort of was! Just this once.

[suitably_heroic]

EDUCATIONAL. In the WOODS. So there might not be bears, hairy bikers or otherwise, but how many bugs? HOW MANY BUGS.

Think about your choices, Sparks!

... like how much complaining you were missing out on just because no one had talked Atton into going.

[myownface]

SO MANY FUCKING BUGS. Mosquitoes might have carried off one of the other campers, I'm not completely sure.

It was not yet that bad.

Well, except for the bathrooms.

[suitably_heroic]

See, this is what I mean. Who even goes into the woods for fun? We were stuck in the jungle on Dxun for a couple of days and half the team almost got run off by a couple of Boma...

Well, at least Sparks was getting the text-message version of the complaining.