MCA #4, Friday Just After Sunset

[suitably_heroic]

Force bonds were a pain in the ass.

Atton had only ever had two of them. One, very dimly thrumming in the back of his head since he was 23 years old, led straight to a blond bounty hunter two galaxies and four thousand years away from him. That one didn't matter so much-- most of what Cade did was drinking and fighting and sleeping, anyway.

The other one had sent him reeling almost a year ago now, when it had suddenly winked out without warning, taking the contents of his stomach with it moments later. That one... that one mattered. It had been a bright, shining thing, getting brighter every day, and suddenly it had been cut, leaving him standing in the light without a tour guide.

When that one lit up like a... like a blazing furnace, like the core of Alderaan's sun, as he just got halfway into a pizza slice, he leaped.

Straight out of his chair, and into a corner of the living room, gasping and completely and thoroughly disoriented.

"What the--"

[[ for myself, la la. ]]

Comments

[suitably_heroic]

Atton sighed. "Yeah. Just a little stupid," he said, staring down at his hands. "I just. I just want to break these cycles that can't be broken."

He rubbed at his palm with his thumb. "Want to. Know I can't."

Hated the way his voice was starting to break just a little.

[defiance-exiled.livejournal.com]

"Maybe," Meetra said. It was her turn to sit forward, now, as she tried to catch his eyes. "But we can decide which side of the cycle we're on. Sometimes, we even have the luxury to stand outside it, if just for a little while, and realize there's still room to survive."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton let out a soft snort. "You'd know that," he acquiesced. "How much time did you wind up drifting past the Outer Rim?"

[defiance-exiled.livejournal.com]

"A few years," she said. "Living in exile... It was... I hesitate to say 'better'. But it was okay. I learned I could live without the Force, without being a Jedi, without being in your cycle."

She shrugged. "But it was temporary," she said.

And she was at peace with that, even if she wasn't, quite, with the circumstances of her death or what was to come.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton reached into his pocket to pull out a packet of cigarettes. "It's always temporary," he said.

They were quiet for a while, after that.

"You're still dodging the question," he said at last. "But you know what, it's dark out, and I'm--" emotionally exhausted but incapable of running, "--kind of tired. So let's table this conversation until tomorrow and you can go crash in my guest bedroom, all right?"

[defiance-exiled.livejournal.com]

"I don't need all that much sleep," Meetra said. "I could--"

[suitably_heroic]

"Please just humor me?" Atton said, lighting his cigarette and then picking up the remains of his pizza. "Let's pretend like we're normal for six hours and then see where we're at."

Then he walked into the kitchen again.

[defiance-exiled.livejournal.com]

Well, she could identify an Atton conversation-ender when he practically threw it at her. "Fine," she said, getting up off the sofa with her glass of juice. "Down the hall, you said?"