Atton Rand & miscellaneous names (
suitably_heroic) wrote2015-06-06 06:48 am
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Atton's Coruscant, Saturday
This would not be the first time that Atton woke up a girl. It would, however, be the first time Atton woke up a girl while on Coruscant, and so there'd been a lot of groaning and complaining for about half an hour until he realized just how badly he could freak out Mical with it.
Also, the boobs. He'd lost another half hour on the boobs.
Of course, by the time it was time to pick up Sparkle from Portalocity, both had kind of lost their novelty factor, and he was left with a body that didn't balance quite the way he expected. Which meant no training, because he was absolutely not going to break a toe or something in front of Sparkle, thank you very much. He was going to have to do something he'd half-promised Sparkle at... some point, instead.
Though, he realized as he waited in the Portalocity office, at least no one had accosted him about being that Jedi today. (And Jedi tunics were unisex, which was nice and easy, at least. Even if he'd had to steal one of Mira's bras. He was just... not going to tell her about it later.)
[[ for the kid, and phone calls, what have yo. ]]
Also, the boobs. He'd lost another half hour on the boobs.
Of course, by the time it was time to pick up Sparkle from Portalocity, both had kind of lost their novelty factor, and he was left with a body that didn't balance quite the way he expected. Which meant no training, because he was absolutely not going to break a toe or something in front of Sparkle, thank you very much. He was going to have to do something he'd half-promised Sparkle at... some point, instead.
Though, he realized as he waited in the Portalocity office, at least no one had accosted him about being that Jedi today. (And Jedi tunics were unisex, which was nice and easy, at least. Even if he'd had to steal one of Mira's bras. He was just... not going to tell her about it later.)
[[ for the kid, and phone calls, what have yo. ]]
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Of course, if garlic sat there that long, you were doing something terribly wrong. Eat more garlic.
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A beat.
"Hey, I should leave some chili peppers sitting around, see what happens."
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"Magic happens," he decided. "I mean, unless it's that Miraluka kid; then I'd just feel like an awful shit. But, like, Mical? We'd need to record that somehow for posterity."
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You could take the boy out of the Sith, but not the Sith out of the boy, apparently.
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A beat.
"Of course, whoever we did it to would probably end up being like the one person who lives for insanely spicy food."
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He walked past a vendor who had a few dozen baskets full of decidedly alive food. "I mean, I have to keep these people on their toes, hanging around the Temple all the time like they do."
He was not going to go after Mira, for instance. ... Because Mira would have his balls.
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"Really, we're bringing new and exciting experiences to them, so that they don't feel like they're missing out," Sparkle decided. "I mean, a life inside the Temple all the time? Who even wants that?"
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Sparkle laughed and shook his head, pausing to look thoughtfully at what kind of looked like a selection of spices. The sign with a senth-penth... number one... three lines that he was pretty sure were cresh, V-that-was-eating-a-T... looked promising. He was picking up on Aurebesh here and there, mostly going by context cues from things he already knew the names for, and almost entirely from the menus in those diners that Atton kept taking him to.
"I mean, I guess a surprise mouthful of jalapenos would help anybody with that..."
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He came to a stop as Sparkle did, glancing thataway and seeing... mostly just a bunch of tiny, tiny food things. Whatever. "See, that's one of the upsides of your world: nobody here will recognize your vegetables."
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Potatoes. Because Sparkle cared.
... And because they were really freaking easy to grow and even easier to cook. Details.
"It would be really stupid of me to just, like, figure out what these are like by buying some of everything and then just sort of praying there's a book somewhere with pictures, right?"
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Because some things just kind of inexplicably grew here. Sometimes weirdly Kessel-shaped things.
"Books, no. Datapads, sure. Probably could've brought a scanner or something, but..." he shrugged.
He'd woken up as a girl that morning. He hadn't had a lot of time for forward planning.
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Because potatoes.
"Maybe next time we bring the scanner," he added, wryly. "Because making dinner probably shouldn't involve a game of Russian roulette, but with seasonings instead of a partly loaded gun."
Probably. But what did Sparkle know? Like half the things in this galaxy were probably out to kill someone at any given moment anyway.
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Atton was not one of those people. Whatever those people were, Atton was pretty much the opposite.
"Maybe next time," he said easily. "Of course, you could also just ask the nice Neimoidian what everything is."
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Look, Sparkle, like, sucked at asking shop owners about things. He was far too used to trying to avoid catching their attention. Shop owners hated kids like him.
For good reason, maybe, but still.
"Hey, um, excuse me? I'm curious if there are any of these that are safe for human consumption, that, like, come highly recommended?"
He'd taste-test from there, so long as he knew it wouldn't kill him. He was brave enough to subject himself to the mystery foods, so long as they were safe.
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In fact, she sighed. "You might try the boontaspice," she began, and then listed - and pointed at - several in turn. "All edible by humans. However, I am not intimately familiar with your species' palate."
"Eh, anything that won't kill us," Atton said, shrugging. "Right? ...Just, y'know, stick to stands labeled 'cooking spices' while we're here."
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"Cooking," he agreed, because it wasn't so difficult to figure out what 'spice' might be otherwise. He was familiar with the term because science fiction back home was totally a thing that appeared to have some tangential basis in real life throughout the multiverse. Thank god. "And sure... I'll give the boontaspice and those other ones a shot. If I don't like them, I'm sure somebody will."
Maybe there would be something even vaguely resembling taco seasonings in there. Ish. If he squinted. If not, it would be a taste adventure, and he'd have to just cheat and bring a flavour packet with him the next time he visited. The Temple totally needed more stuff in the kitchen anyway.
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"It's a Coruscant marketplace," he said, to Sparkle. "I mean, people here like to pretend it's all civilized and clean, but... well, nobody needs you getting hopped up on glitterstim by accident."
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"Okay, like, being fucked up on random drugs without even seeing it coming would probably suck, but what a name."
Honestly. A kid named Sparkle being messed up on glitter would be humourously fitting. If not for the whole telepathy and highly addictive yadda yadda of the thing.
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It would be way harder to resist than something with a name like deathsticks, though.
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He put the spice bag in the vegetable bag. Seemed like the best place to put it. "Save it for the next time you see Cade, instead."
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He'd film it for posterity, anyway.
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His own half hour of squishy probably paled in comparison.
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And then he just snickered.
"Yeah, no, probably not. Like. Going by weird weekends past, the responsible option still involves showing a lot of cleavage and seeing how many guys want to buy him drinks."
Which, you know, Sparkle would be all over doing too, if the island hadn't ripped him off royally this weekend. Boo.
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