"Feels like it sometimes," Sparkle muttered, staring down at his beer. And he knew that what he was dealing with had nothing on the shit Atton had seen, done, or been. He sighed. "I want my life back. Which is a stupid thing to fucking say, because it was never really completely my life to start with. There's always been this... like... This empty, you know? This big stupid fucking dark lurking in the back, and what I want going forward has changed but the thing underneath it's always, always, always been family. I went back to Toronto wanting it and what I got was Carla spooking and a broken heart, and when I went back before what I got was Lewis and all... that. All that. And like even with the island. I fucking sold my soul for it, for the chance, and Leto asked me once if I wanted to adopt and it broke my brain. Like. I can't be responsible for kids I can barely be responsible for myself and I can't say I want my life back but I really... I really fucking want a chance at having my life. And I don't know what that even means yet, but I know I have to deal with this shit if I ever want to get there and even when I get it right I feel like I'm fucking it up and I don't get it. Maybe I just keep waiting for it to burn down."