suitably_heroic | Keres II, Saturday (Reply)

Atton was running on three hours of sleep, stolen somewhere between the beast attack and the next beast attack. They were moving again now, because they'd torn through all the fuel for his rigged heater in record time and they couldn't afford to hang back any longer now. In his estimation, it'd probably be another couple of hours before they hit the base, and this adventure would be over without any casualties worth mentioning.

It'd been quieter since the first attack. Sometimes the beasts showed up, but they were easy to chase off now that he was sharp about them. Worse was the geography - after the first time someone had nearly tripped down a ravine, Atton had decided to walk up front. His danger sense was reliable, and he knew it. The icy storm roaring around them... would be a problem if the walk was longer than it still was, because it bit everyone right under the clothes, but for now, it was manageable.

That made things quiet. And quiet was the last thing he needed right now. The lack of disasters on the outside just made it more obvious that he had a private disaster raging on in his head.

"Hey," Ree said. She'd stepped up beside him - made the first time he'd seen her in about an hour. "The rear is holding."

"I could make a joke about that phrasing," Atton muttered, "But I think I'm too cold for that."

She huffed a quiet laugh. "You could've flown back to base to get some help."

Now it was Atton's turn to snort. "You people took all the other speeders," he pointed out. "The only thing I could've done was load up my ship and come flying over here, but with this storm overhead, there's no telling if I'd been able to find you in time."

"But you'd be warm, at least," Ree said. She glanced at Atton's face, narrowed her eyes.

Weird.

"What?" he said. "Is there something stuck between my teeth?"

"Have you been here before?" she asked.

"I thought we weren't going to be talking about the Mandalorian Wars," Atton said dryly. His fingers suddenly ached for a cigarette. Stupid Earth habits. "No, I haven't been here before." He let his hand curl around an imaginary cigarette, instead.

She watched him for a moment longer.

Just as she seemed about to speak, though, he spoke up again. Settled something in his head. "It was winter, though," he said. He fixed his eyes on the horizon. "And there was blood on the snow."

She made a noise of understanding. Didn't ask. He might've loved her and hated her a little bit, for that.

---

You know, the worst part wasn't even watching his friends get their heads blown off. Jaq had seen that before. It was becoming a depressing feature of his life, and he was starting to wonder if making friends was even worth it. Maybe next time, he shouldn't try. Might be easier.

No, the worst part was this.

Sitting in a transport ship, this close to the window. Watching the refugees outside, men, women, children, and a whole host of beings of genders he wasn't even going to guess at, shouting at the windows, terror in their eyes. He couldn't hear their voices through several layers of durasteel, but he figured he knew what they were saying.

Don't abandon us. We need your help. The Mandalorians are coming.

You don't understand, he wanted to say. There's not enough of us. When the Republic told you it could protect you, it was lying to you. Just like the Jedi were lying to us when they told us they were our peacekeepers, they had our backs.

He'd gotten involved in this stupid war because he wanted to help people; every day in this stupid war made it clear that was the stupidest thing he could've thought. There was no helping people, here. Just firing blankly and hoping to whatever deity you believed in that you hit enough things that you could go on pretending for just another day that you could keep people safe.

He shut his eyes and let the back of his head hit his seat. Couldn't think like that. Remember why you came here.

Except wouldn't it be easier if he could just shove that into a drawer, too, and close it? Yeah, it would.

But he couldn't.

---

By the time they hit the main base, two people - outside of Atton - had wounds inflicted on them by the beasts, and a dozen or so had some level of frostbite. They were shipped off to the medbay as soon as they arrived, something that made it easier for Atton to slip the leash of more medical attention.

He was tired, he was cold, he was done here and he wanted to go off and put his head somewhere actually in the present for a change.

In fact, Atton was already halfway down the hallway to hangar bay when she called him.

"Master Jedi!"

He glanced over his shoulder. "I'm not a Jedi, all right?"

"Thank you," Ree called back, and he knew without a hint of doubt that she'd just ignored him.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, tossing his pack over his shoulder. "Have a nice life."

He was tired of this planet. He just wanted to get off. Sure, he could've stayed and talked with her more. Might've been better for his head. But that was the rational decision to make, and he wasn't feeling rational.

He just wanted to hole up in his apartment for a week.

Same old, same old.

[[ and done. nfb, nfi, ooc-okay. ]]