Grakk's Diner, Near The Jedi Temple, Coruscant, Tuesday Morning

[suitably_heroic]

It'd been a decent couple of days - training Sparkle, avoiding Brianna, finding new places to leave rude things scribbled on the walls of the Temple that Mical probably wouldn't find out about until he was fifty - but all decent things had to end. For one thing, most of Atton's stuff was on the island, and for the other, he didn't actually want to miss the couple of quiet days there before the next term.

Why squander a perfectly good place without people he hated?

"All right, portal leaves in two hours," Atton said, pushing open the door to a charming local diner that screamed GRAKK in offensively neon-and-glittery words from the rooftop. Inside, a plethora of people of various species were hovering or sitting in their seats, but there were still a couple of booths open, including one facing right across from the diner's four-armed cook, so hey, Atton would sit down right there.

"Stick to the blue part of the menu," he said, "The white part's living food. Yellow's not for humans, and red... let's just not talk about the red."

[[ for sparks! ]]

Comments

[myownface]

"Because it keeps people guessing," Sparkle shared, oddly pleased by this question. "One of these days, I'm going to come to class looking like everyone else, and half the people in the room won't even recognize me, just watch."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton let out a snort. "Hey, at least you pick a persona and stick with it," he said. "I mean, I don't know how long you're going to keep it up. It seems exhausting. But you stick the landing."

[myownface]

"I'm gonna keep it up until it doesn't work for me anymore," Sparkle replied with a shrug of his shoulders, tearing off a piece of bread and dunking it in his soup. "If people stop seeing me the way I want them to see me, then it's time to change it up, you know?"

[suitably_heroic]

"How much energy do you put into this one?" Atton asked.

Neutrally. He got masks, and he got keeping them on. He did it all the time.

[myownface]

"I dunno... it's kind of routine by now, you know? The hair's easy. Make-up only takes a few minutes. I kind of just do it without thinking, now."

The mask that took effort was that other one. That one that was all lies and attitude and convincing people that he didn't care about a thing.

[suitably_heroic]

"Not the one I was talking about," Atton said mildly. "But hey, points for the evasion."

[myownface]

"I do what I can for points, man," Sparkle replied with a shrug. "You actually care that much how much effort I put into it?"

Because Sparkle could keep ducking and dodging that answer until the nerfs came home.

[suitably_heroic]

"You can weasel your way out of it if you want to," Atton said, with a light shrug. "Just as long as we're both clear that's what's happening here."

He was curious, though. Just not the kind of curious that led to lectures or whatever, because again, not a leg to stand on.

[myownface]

"Okay." Sparkle was quiet for a moment, and then he shrugged. "I dunno. I put more effort in around some people than others."

For Atton, for example, Sparkle was only sort of wearing a mask. When he was at school, he was someone else completely. People didn't get to see Sparkle. Not unless there was a damn good reason for it.

He figured Atton would get how that went.

[suitably_heroic]

Somewhat. Atton was the product of two, three, four years of shifting identities and one carefully picked to lead him out of it.

Sometimes he envied the fact Sparkle still had such a strong grasp on who he really was.

"People usually do," he said. "You're just the loudest and the most aware of it of the kids I've met on Fandom. Makes me wonder."

[myownface]

Sparkle considered that for a moment, before chuckling and shaking his head a little.

"What do most people at Fandom have to hide from? Like, they show up and it's this fucking fantasy island where everyone's accepted for who they are and nobody judges them, and, like, not a single one of them stops to think about who they're going to be when they leave again. And, you know, it's a when. Not everyone can stick around and teach after. Some might. Most don't ever come back. So they let the act drop and they come out of their shell or whatever, and everything is all sunshine and flowers until grad comes and they realize that they have no clue how to survive back home once they go."

[suitably_heroic]

"All true," Atton said.

What, you expected the 'no, really, it's a Wonderful World Out There' speech from him? Never gonna happen.

"Though everyone doing their little earnest song and dance probably makes you want to forget from time to time. That whole 'no really, we'll fix you' poodoo."

[myownface]

Sparkle snorted.

"Yeah, there have been a couple who have half had me believing it," he replied, shrugging. "All of those 'you have potential, don't waste it' types who don't care where I've come from or just how likely I am to fuck it up again. Those are always fun."

[suitably_heroic]

"There's always going to be people like that. Mostly women, for some reason."

Or maybe his face just attracted a certain kind of woman a lot. Who knew?

"It's a nice spiel because it usually works on little middle class boys whose only problem is sometimes they don't feel so good about themselves, and they just need a little confidence to do whatever. But with the rest of us, it's just a matter of time until someone runs into the brick wall that is our wonderful reality."

[myownface]

"You know, I've only ever met a couple of girls like that?" Sparkle shrugged. "But yeah, it's really easy to talk about potential when you've got everything in your life up to that moment backing you up on whatever you want to do when you grow up. You don't have anything to push forward from, of course it's easy if you're already fucking there."

He sighed, and then tore off another piece of his sandwich.

"It's really easy to talk about potential when you've been told your entire life that you've got it. Anyone can grow up to be president, all that bullshit. Real life isn't always a Hallmark card."

[suitably_heroic]

"Doesn't mean you can't make something of yourself, don't get me wrong," Atton said. He finished his drink by knocking it back. "But there's actually achievable life goals, and then there's jumping up and down trying to reach a ceiling you can't even see, right?"

In his case, the ceiling was 'being a genuinely functional human being'.

Meetra'd been the best of them, and she'd made him a better person in more than a couple of ways, but that ceiling was still way up there. Being ceiling-y.

[myownface]

"Yeah, that ceiling is pretty fucking high up there, considering I didn't even think to look up for it up until maybe a couple of years ago. Much as Lewis wants us to be able to do our best, like, he's realistic about it. It's his job to be. People on the island... fuck. No frame of reference, there," Sparkle sighed, and then shoveled a spoonful of soup into his mouth.

Mmm, cheesy.

"They think their ceiling and my ceiling are in exactly the same place."

[suitably_heroic]

"See, as far as you're concerned, I'm gonna be happy if you have food, a job, and a roof over your head," Atton said. "Anything I can do to help with that, let me know. Though don't tell anyone or every kid in the dorms is going to start swarming to me like they do Skywalker, eesh."

[myownface]

"Ha, like I'm going to pass that one around," Sparkle replied, smirking. "Really, that would involve sharing, man."

The odds that Sparkle was going to ask anyone for help if he could help it were slim, but, shit, people making those offers? That meant the world to him, even if he wouldn't admit it.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton shrugged. "Hey, I'm saying if I have a roof, you have a roof," he said, "That spreads around, suddenly there's no more space under my roof."

[myownface]

There was a long pause at that.

And then Sparkle just smirked and glanced out the window, looking to see if maybe he could spot the temple from there.

"I can see how that might be a problem, yeah."

Sparkle was being an ass on purpose, now.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton snorted.

"You really think stuffing Fandom's finest in one building with a bunch of Jedi is a good idea?" he said. "They'd level Coruscant in a week."

[myownface]

"... I'd totally sit back and just film that," Sparkle mused. "Michael Bay, eat your heart out."

It wasn't like he could otherwise contribute, here.