Atton's Apartment, Manhattan, New York City, Thursday Afternoon

[suitably_heroic]

You know, Atton was finally starting to get into a rhythm with this life, a daily and weekly routine. It hadn't saved him from careening past an episode of... something... last week, but now that the reality of the potentially-long stretch of life in front of him had settled in-- well, it at least kept his sanity intact.

End of the week was usually Lana time. They'd spent some time earlier that day sparring in the band's practice space. It'd been a good workout.

But now he was home, holding the door open for Lana to come on in. "You're welcome to grab a shower, if you want."

[[ expecting one, but as always open for messages and phone calls ]]

Comments

[unusual_sith]

"If you're not sure of that, I'll take the lemonade, thank you," Lana said. Fancy soda sounded like something Dane might be saving.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton grabbed the lemonade from the fridge. Might as well pour one for both of them.

"...We're working on it," he said, eventually, mid-pour, hoping futilly that it'd be muffled. "You know. With Dane. Since we're sort of some kind of dating or whatever."

Yes, he knew she'd been hinting about it for weeks. No, that didn't make it easier to bring it up.

[unusual_sith]

Yes, but Lana wasn't going to gloat. Much.

"Are you? Good for you. It helps to have people with you, I've found. If only so they can kick you when you do something awful. Hopefully metaphorically."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton snorted. He poured a glass. "It does help," he said, "If they decide to stick around, anyway."

And the next glass.

[unusual_sith]

"Well, relationship or no, you are in a band together," Lana pointed out. "That's a commitment."

[suitably_heroic]

"I've had a lot of people commit to things out loud to me," Atton said vaguely.

He returned to the living room with both glasses in hand. He held one out for her.

"I'm just trying," he said.

To not expect the worst. To not assume he'd screw it up. To not put Dane on a pedestal.

[unusual_sith]

Lana took her glass and sipped from it.

"Kanan, my first Jedi teacher, once told me that there was a master who insisted there was no such thing as trying, only doing. It stuck with me." She paused for another sip. "Mostly because of what rubbish it was. Trying is all anybody can do."

[suitably_heroic]

"Yeah, we're about five steps away from 'doing' anything here anyway."

Okay, someone might still be twitchy about some comments Summer had made.

He sat back down on the sofa. "I don't know. It's good so far. It's just-- complicated-- for me, doing this at all."

[unusual_sith]

"I have absolutely no interest in knowing about that part," Lana said.

"I'm pretty sure it's complicated for everyone, even without the ridiculous number of extra complications you've got," she pointed out. "All you can do is keep trying."

[suitably_heroic]

"I'm grateful," Atton said.

Because the comments from Summer were way, way, way more than enough.

"But yeah, frankly the fact I'm not on one of the moons of Jupiter right now is character growth," he said, and took a sip of his lemonade. "I'm just clinging to that."

[unusual_sith]

"I think I remember going to Jupiter for class once," Lana said. "It has very nice moons, but Earth is more conducive to human life. And I for one am glad to see you here."

[suitably_heroic]

"Trying," Atton said. He lowered his drink again. "It's just. It's-- nice."

Ugh. There was that word again.

"Last weekend was nice," he said. "Most days are nice, too."

Ugggh.

"Which is weird," he settled on, finally, "Because it used to be that most days I was just tired."

[unusual_sith]

"Nice is better than tired," Lana agreed, nodding gravely. "Maybe someday you'll get as far as 'good'!"

[suitably_heroic]

Atton snorted. "Woah, woah, let's not go nuts," he said dryly, shooting her a wry look.

[unusual_sith]

"Right." Lana nodded. "Taking it slow. Good is a far-off objective."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton nodded.

Then he shook his head.

Then he let out a little laugh.

"Space, I like camping," he said.

[unusual_sith]

"Oh? What brought that on?" Lana asked.

[suitably_heroic]

Atton dropped his head forward and let out a wry laugh.

"It's just one of those things I think I always complained about, just for the sake of complaining," he said. "Nature. Wet. Bugs. Eugh. Just another in a long line of complaints that made people think of me as that guy who rambled all the time, hated almost everything, and was just generally a pain in the ass."

He sipped his lemonade again.

"But when I was out on missions, I liked it," he said. "Being alone with nature. I just never went 'oh, I actually like this, I just complain about it for the cover', you know? Then Dane started dragging me out into the parks, and I just..."

He trailed off.

Then: "I actually like camping."

[unusual_sith]

"Congratulations!" Lana grinned and nudged him. "You've found another hobby."

[suitably_heroic]

Atton nudged her back, a little dramatically. "Not the point," he said.

[unusual_sith]

"Isn't it?" Lana asked. "You've found out something about yourself, and you've also found something that makes you happy! Those are good things!"

[suitably_heroic]

"Yeah, but I'd say it's not 'finding a new hobby'," Atton said wryly. "It's figuring me out that's the weird part."

By weird he meant 'good'.

[unusual_sith]

“Only if you think you’re weird. Which honestly I have no standards by which to judge,” Lana answered with a laugh.

[suitably_heroic]

"Definitely less weird than you," Atton decided, sitting back.

Trying to relax a fraction.

[unusual_sith]

“Oh, now I have to hear these criteria.” Lana settled in and turned toward him. “Go on. How am I weirder?”